Dùn Hexagram 62: Don’t Want to Leave or Conform? "Hold Fast with Yellow Ox Hide" — Staying True to Yourself Is Victory

Have you ever found yourself in this situation—

The company culture isn’t great,

Everyone’s slacking off, putting on a show,

And sucking up to the boss.

You don’t want to be like them,

You think it’s all meaningless.

But you don’t want to leave either,

Because the pay’s not bad,

Or you’re still waiting for an opportunity,

Or you’re not sure you’d find something better if you left.

Stay or go?

That’s the question.

Leave, and you hate to give it up;

Stay, and you feel suffocated.

You feel like if you stay here,

Sooner or later you’ll be assimilated, worn down.

When most people face this,

They either go along with the crowd,

Slacking off together in the mess;

Or they slam the table and walk out,

Figuring there’s always a better place for them.

But the Six in the Second Place of the Retreat Hexagram tells you

There’s a third path.

This path is called "Steadfast Retreat."

It’s not a physical retreat,

It’s a mental one.

Your body stays in that position,

But your mind has already stopped playing their game.

「执之用黄牛之革」 (Held Fast with the Hide of a Yellow Ox): The Toughest Defense

The Six in the Second Place of the Retreat Hexagram is a Yin Line in a Yin position, central and correct.

It’s the best-positioned Yin Line in the entire hexagram.

The Line Text says: 「执之用黄牛之革，莫之胜说。」 (Held fast with the hide of a yellow ox; no one can loosen it.)

"Zhi" (hold) means to grasp, to stand firm.

"Yellow ox hide" refers to a rope made of yellow ox leather.

Yellow ox hide is the toughest material there is,

Hard to break, hard to damage.

"No one can loosen it" means nobody can untie it.

What does this line mean?

It means—

With a will as tough as yellow ox hide,

Hold fast to your position, your principles,

And your own ground.

No one can shake you,

No one can pull you away.

What does this have to do with retreat?

Isn’t retreat supposed to be leaving?

Why doesn’t the Six in the Second Place leave?

Because its position is too good.

It’s central and correct,

Unbiased, steady and solid.

In an environment run by petty people,

It manages to keep itself untainted.

It doesn’t need to leave;

It can hold its ground right where it is.

Just like a tree growing in a pile of rocks,

The surrounding environment is harsh,

Rocks everywhere, barely any soil.

But its roots run deep,

Its trunk grows straight,

The wind can’t blow it down,

The rocks can’t crush it.

It just grows there quietly,

And no one can do anything about it.

That’s what the retreat of the Six in the Second Place is like.

It’s not running away,

It’s standing firm.

Not standing firm by attacking,

But by defending.

I won’t fight with you, I won’t struggle with you,

I won’t go along with your dirty tricks,

But I’m not leaving either.

I’m right here, holding onto myself.

This kind of retreat

Is sometimes harder than actually leaving.

Leaving only takes courage,

But holding onto yourself in a harsh environment

Takes immense inner strength.

Retreat in Mind, Not in Body: The Wisest "Being There Without Belonging"

The state of the Six in the Second Place

Can be summed up in one phrase:

Retreat in mind, not in body.

What does that mean?

Your body is still in this environment,

Still in this position,

Still doing what needs to be done.

But your mind has already stepped back.

Don’t get involved, don’t take sides, don’t cling to power,

Don’t get mixed up in all that messy stuff.

Put it simply,

It’s—

I’m here, but I don’t belong here.

I do my job, but I don’t play your game.

You’ve met people like this, right?

In every company,

There’s always one or two of them.

When everyone’s gossiping, they’re working;

When everyone’s taking credit, they stay quiet;

When everyone’s sucking up to the boss, they keep their distance.

They’re not annoying, but they’re not特别 close to anyone either.

You might say they’re not team players, but that’s not true—

They’re polite to everyone they meet.

But if you say they’re one of the gang, that’s not true either—

They never belong to any clique.

These people seem unremarkable,

But they’re usually the ones who end up best off.

Why?

Because they have no baggage.

If a faction falls, it has nothing to do with them;

If a boss leaves, it doesn’t affect them;

If a power struggle is lost, they don’t get dragged into it.

They just quietly do their own work,

And hone their skills to perfection.

Whoever comes into power will need them.

Wen Laoshi once said,

True freedom

Isn’t being able to do whatever you want,

It’s being able to refuse whatever you don’t want to do.

The Six in the Second Place has that kind of freedom.

It can refuse to take sides if it wants,

Refuse to get involved if it wants,

Because it makes a living by its own skills,

Not by sucking up to or depending on anyone.

But you should know,

This freedom comes at a cost.

The cost is—

You might not get promoted as fast as others,

You might not get paid as much as others,

People might call you a goody-two-shoes,

Call you stupid, say you don’t know how the world works.

But in the long run,

None of that matters.

Because people who climb up by taking sides and sucking up

Rise fast, but fall fast too.

And people who rely on their own skills

May move slowly,

But every step is steady.

Three Levels of Holding Onto Yourself

「执之用黄牛之革」 (Held fast with the hide of a yellow ox)

Is easier said than done.

What does it mean to truly hold onto yourself?

There are three levels.

The first level: hold onto your actions.

That’s the most basic—

Don’t do things you shouldn’t do,

Don’t take things you shouldn’t take,

Don’t say things you shouldn’t say.

Everyone else is slacking off? I don’t slack;

Everyone else is grabbing benefits? I don’t grab;

Everyone else is badmouthing people? I don’t badmouth.

That’s the most basic bottom line.

If you can do this,

You’re already better than a lot of people.

The second level: hold onto your mind.

This is a bit harder.

Not only do you not act that way,

You don’t agree with it in your heart either.

You don’t think something’s right just because everyone else does it;

You don’t think you should adapt just because the environment is that way.

You have a scale in your heart,

You know what’s right and what’s wrong,

You don’t go with the flow.

"Coming out of the mud without being stained"

Is exactly this level.

The third level: hold onto your rhythm.

This is the highest level.

Not only are your actions upright and your mind clear,

Even your rhythm doesn’t get thrown off.

Others are rushing? You don’t rush;

Others are panicking? You don’t panic;

Everyone else is anxiously grinding away,

You still move forward at your own pace.

Outside noise can’t affect you,

Changes in the environment can’t shake you.

You’re like an old yellow ox,

One step at a time,

Moving forward steadily, unhurried.

Yellow ox hide—

That’s exactly the feeling.

Tough and steady,

Hard to tear apart,

Hard to change.

Who Is "Steadfast Retreat" For?

This path isn’t for everyone.

Some people are suited to the "Steadfast Retreat" of the Six in the Second Place,

Others are suited to the "Favorable Retreat" of the Nine in the Fourth Place—

Leaving cleanly and decisively.

What kind of person is suited to staying and holding their ground?

Three conditions.

First condition: you have real skills.

You make a living by your ability,

Not by connections, not by taking sides,

Not by someone else’s patronage.

As long as you have your skills,

Whoever becomes boss will need you.

That’s your biggest source of confidence.

If you don’t have enough skills,

And you still want to refuse to take sides or suck up,

Chances are you’ll be marginalized,

Or even kicked out.

Second condition: you have strong inner strength.

You need the toughness of yellow ox hide,

You can’t be easily influenced by the environment.

If you can’t handle a few sarcastic comments from others,

If you can’t take a bit of cold shoulder,

Then you’d better leave quickly,

Don’t torture yourself here.

Steadfast Retreat all comes down to one word: "steadiness."

Let the wind and waves rise, I sit steady on the fishing platform.

Third condition: this place still has value.

Even though the culture is bad,

You can still learn things,

Still gain experience,

Or the pay is decent,

Or there are resources you want.

If you can’t learn anything here,

Can’t make money, and get treated badly every day,

Then what are you staying here for?

For the bad air?

If all three conditions are met,

You can consider staying.

If even one isn’t met,

Then you need to think carefully.

Not all persistence is meaningful;

Some persistence is just killing time.

A Few Pitfalls of Steadfast Retreat

The path of Steadfast Retreat

Looks simple,

But it’s full of pitfalls.

If you’re not careful,

It turns from "Steadfast Retreat" into "waiting to die."

First pitfall: passive slacking.

Some people say they won’t go along with the crowd,

Then they start lying flat, just going through the motions.

They don’t show up to work properly,

Don’t do their jobs properly,

And call it "being indifferent to fame and fortune."

That’s not Steadfast Retreat,

That’s crippling yourself.

Steadfast Retreat is holding onto yourself,

Not giving up on yourself.

You can refuse to play their game,

But you have to hone your own skills.

Otherwise, when you finally want to leave,

You’ll find you can’t do anything anymore.

Second pitfall: self-righteous aloofness.

Some people think because they don’t go along with the crowd,

They’re better than everyone else.

They look down on everyone,

Think everyone else is vulgar,

Only they’re pure and noble.

That’s a problem.

The Retreat Hexagram says "not harsh, yet dignified"—

It doesn’t mean you should look down on people,

It means you should keep your distance but be friendly.

If you act all high and mighty,

You’ll just end up offending everyone,

And isolate yourself in the end.

Third pitfall: forgetting why you stayed.

You hold on and on, until you go numb;

You hold on and on, until you get used to it;

You hold on and on, until you forget why you didn’t leave in the first place.

Then year after year passes,

And temporary persistence turns into being boiled like a frog in warm water.

By the time you finally realize you want to leave,

You can’t leave anymore.

So people who practice Steadfast Retreat

Must always keep a string tight in their heart—

I’m here temporarily,

Not for my whole life.

I’m holding onto my principles,

Not onto this place.

Once a better opportunity comes along,

Or this place no longer has value,

You still have to leave when you should.

Final Thoughts

The Six in the Second Place of the Retreat Hexagram

Is a line that’s easy to overlook.

Everyone pays attention to those dramatic exits,

Those clean, decisive departures,

Few people pay attention to this quiet, unassuming persistence.

But actually,

This kind of persistence is most people’s daily reality.

Not all of us can just pick up and leave whenever we want,

Not all of us are in a position to slam the table and walk out.

A lot of the time,

We have to find a way to survive, to live decently,

In less-than-ideal environments.

Steadfast Retreat

Is a path for ordinary people.

When you can’t leave,

Don’t rush to compromise,

And don’t rush to run away.

First hold onto yourself,

Like yellow ox hide—

Tougher, steadier, sturdier.

Hold onto your bottom line, hold onto your original intention, hold onto your rhythm.

If you can hold onto yourself,

The world can’t change you.

You can’t change your environment,

But you can decide

Whether your environment can change you.

「执之用黄牛之革，莫之胜说。」 (Held fast with the hide of a yellow ox; no one can loosen it.)

May you, no matter what situation you’re in,

Be able to stand steady,

With no one able to pull you away.