What to Do When You Keep Swinging Between Good and Bad States? Hexagram Fu Line 63: "Pin Fu, Li Wu Jiu" — Stumbling Forward Still Counts as Progress

Have you ever had this kind of experience?

You make up your mind to lose weight, stick to it for three days, then can’t resist a big feast and end up hating yourself for it.

You decide to study hard, keep at it for two days, then scroll through your phone all night and feel totally discouraged.

You resolve to walk away from a relationship, hold on for three days, then go right back the second they text you and end up despising yourself.

You think, “Why am I so useless?”

“Why can’t I just stick to something?”

“Why do I keep going back and forth, never making any real progress?”

The harder you beat yourself up, the less confidence you have; the less confidence you have, the easier it is to give up.

And in the end, you really do quit.

If this sounds like you, I want you to know —

It’s normal.

Truly, it’s completely normal.

This is exactly what the Six in the Third Place of the Return Hexagram (地雷復 / Return) describes.

The Line Text (爻辭 / Yao Ci) says: “频复，厉无咎” (Frequent return: danger, but no blame).

It means turning back again and again, making adjustments over and over — it’s risky and exhausting, but in the end, there’s no major fault.

What does that really mean?

It means going back and forth isn’t a mistake, and stumbling forward still counts as moving ahead.

What is "Frequent Return" (频复)

“Pin” (频) means frequent, time after time.

“Fu” (复) means coming back, returning to the right track.

“Frequent return” — you stray then come back, come back then stray again, back and forth so many times.

Is this a good thing?

Objectively speaking, it’s definitely not as good as “returning before going far” (不远复).

Some people turn back after just two steps, but you go out then come back, come back then go out, going through the cycle over and over — wasting time, draining energy, and wearing yourself out.

That’s why the Line Text says “厉” (li / danger) — there’s risk involved, it’s not the ideal state.

But there are two more words after that: “无咎” (wu jiu / no blame) — no major fault, no big problem.

Why?

Because you still come back in the end.

Even though you waver and go through the wringer, you don’t keep sliding downward.

Every time you fall, you manage to climb back up.

That’s enough.

A lot of people set extremely high standards for themselves —

Either it’s perfect, or they don’t do it at all.

Either you keep moving forward without taking a single step back; one step back means total failure.

How is that even possible?

Life doesn’t move in a straight upward line — it progresses in waves.

There are advances and retreats, good days and bad, highs and lows.

Two steps forward, one step back — that’s totally normal.

You can’t write yourself off just because you took one step back.

You have to look at the big picture — if the overall direction is forward, there’s no problem.

Why Does "Frequent Return" Happen?

Why can some people push forward in one go, while others keep going back and forth?

There are three reasons.

First, your foundation is too weak.

What does that mean?

It means you’ve fallen so far before that you can’t just climb back up all at once — it’s not that easy.

For example, if you’ve been staying up late for years with a totally messed-up sleep schedule, you can’t just switch to early bed and early wake overnight.

Or if you’ve been feeling really low for a long time, you can’t just turn into a positive, sunny person overnight — that’s not realistic.

When your foundation is weak, your ability to bounce back is small.

You climb two steps, run out of energy, slide down a little; rest a bit, then climb again.

That’s normal.

It’s not that you have weak willpower — it’s that your starting point is too low.

Second, your environment hasn’t changed.

A lot of people want to change, but everything around them stays exactly the same.

You want to quit drinking, but your group of friends invites you out to drink every single day.

You want to study, but your roommate plays video games right next to you all day long.

You want to get over a relationship, but you two still work at the same company, run in the same circle.

The power of your environment is way bigger than you think.

If you’re stuck in a bad environment, you can only hold on with willpower for so long.

It’s not that you’re not determined enough — it’s that the environment keeps pulling you back.

That’s why real change has to include changing your environment too.

If the environment stays the same and you only try to change yourself, you’ll keep going back and forth.

Third, your method is wrong.

Some people dive into change way too hard right out the gate.

They set a super high goal for themselves and force themselves to hit it every single day.

It works for the first few days while the novelty lasts, but once that wears off, they can’t keep up.

Then they quit, beat themselves up over it, then a few days later make another resolution, go all in again for a few days, then quit again…

This back-and-forth cycle is exactly “frequent return.”

Why does this happen?

Because the method is wrong.

Change doesn’t come from white-knuckling it with willpower — it comes from habits, rhythm, and the right approach.

If your method is wrong, the harder you push, the worse the backlash will be.

What to Do When You’re Stuck in "Frequent Return"

So when you’re bouncing back and forth, with your mood and progress up and down, what should you actually do?

Three things to remember.

First: stop beating yourself up.

This is the most important one.

For a lot of people, the first thing they do after slipping back is tear themselves apart —

“Why am I so useless? Why do I have no willpower? I’m such a loser.”

The harsher you are to yourself, the less confidence you have; the less confidence you have, the easier it is to give up.

Eventually you just throw in the towel entirely.

But there’s no need for that.

Going back and forth is normal.

It’s like learning to walk — what toddler doesn’t fall down, get back up, fall down again?

Would you call a toddler useless just because they fell down?

Of course not.

You’d encourage them: “It’s okay, get up and keep going.”

Why can’t you be that kind to yourself?

If you slipped back, you slipped back. If you fell down, get back up.

Get up, and keep going.

That’s enough.

Don’t fight with yourself.

Second: check if you’re actually making progress.

Stop fixating on the fact that you slipped up again.

Take a step back and look at the big picture.

Last month you slipped up eight times, this month five times — that’s progress.

Last time you fell and it took a whole month to climb back, this time it took a week — that’s progress.

As long as the overall direction is forward, it’s okay to go slow, and it’s okay to slip up a little.

Wen Laoshi often says: “Don’t fear slowness — fear standing still. Don’t fear setbacks — fear never coming back.”

It’s so true.

As long as you always come back, you’re always moving forward.

So what if you’re going slow?

It’s better than standing still, better than never coming back at all.

Third: find the cause, and fix your method.

Slipping up isn’t a bad thing — it’s a signal.

It’s telling you that your current approach isn’t working.

If you slip up, don’t just wallow in self-blame.

Pause and think: Why did I slip back?

Is your goal too high? Then lower it a little.

Is your environment having too big an impact? Then change your environment.

Is your willpower not enough? Then switch to a method that relies on habits instead of willpower.

Find the root cause, and adjust.

Next time, you’ll slip up fewer times, you won’t fall as far, and you’ll climb back faster.

Fix one small thing at a time, and gradually things will smooth out.

Final Thoughts

The line “频复，厉无咎” (Frequent return: danger, but no blame) from the Six in the Third Place of the Return Hexagram is such a gentle, forgiving teaching.

It doesn’t demand that you be perfect.

It doesn’t say you can only move forward and never back up.

It says —

It’s okay to go back and forth, it’s okay to stumble through it. As long as you come back in the end, it’s not a mistake.

This message is for everyone who’s trying to change, restart, or climb their way back up.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

You’re already trying your best.

You might go slow, you might walk unsteadily, you might even take two steps back sometimes — but your overall direction is right.

That’s enough.

Stumbling forward still counts as moving ahead.

Going back and forth still means you’re getting closer.

As long as you don’t give up, as long as you climb back up every time you fall —

One day, you’ll reach the place you want to go.