Is It Worth Moving the Whole Family? Hexagram 64 Line 4 of Increase: Should You Relocate Your Entire Household?

There is a line on the Six in the Fourth Place of the Increase Hexagram, one of the rare lines in the I Ching (Book of Changes) that directly speaks of relocating: "中行，告公從，利用為依遷國" (Zhong xing, gao gong cong, li yong wei yi qian guo: Walking the middle path, announce to the lord and gain compliance; it is favorable to rely on this to move the capital).

"Zhong xing" means walking on the right path. "Gao gong cong" means making things clear to those above and obtaining their approval. "Li yong wei yi qian guo" means seizing this opportunity to move the entire capital to a new location.

Moving the capital. In ancient times, relocating the capital was an event of utmost importance—ancestral temples, common people, and grain stores all had to be moved along with it.

That is why this line text is not about changing houses; it speaks of something far greater: moving the entire foundation of one’s life to a new place in order to survive and thrive.

When it comes to home matters, a great many people come to ask about this topic.

There was a reader, 39 years old, who lived with his wife in a second-tier city and had one child in primary school.

He received a job offer in another city with a 40% salary increase, but it required the whole family to move there.

He asked me if it was worth it.

I said, "Don’t calculate the money first. First figure out one thing: after moving, will the pillars holding your family together still be there?"

He paused, confused, and asked what I meant by "pillars".

I said, "Your current home is supported by several pillars. Your parents live nearby and can pick up the child. Your wife has a stable job—though the pay isn’t high, it gives you peace of mind. The house is yours, no rent to pay. Old classmates and colleagues are all here, so you have people to turn to when things come up."

These four pillars are your support system.

After moving, how many of these four pillars will remain?

He fell silent.

The Increase Hexagram is Feng Lei Yi (Wind-Thunder Increase). The upper trigram is Xun (The Gentle), the lower is Zhen (The Arousing)—wind above thunder.

The Xiang Commentary says: "Wind and thunder form Increase. The superior person, seeing what is good, moves toward it; having faults, corrects them."

"Seeing what is good, moves toward it"—drifting toward what is better.

The core of the Increase Hexagram is "diminish the upper to increase the lower": take a little from those above, add much to those below.

This principle is very easy to understand when applied to family matters.

For a family to move forward, it is often the older generation that yields a little, giving the younger generation more opportunities.

Parents helping with childcare is "diminish the upper to increase the lower". One spouse stepping back temporarily to let the other pursue their career is also "diminish the upper to increase the lower".

That is why moving the "capital" of a family is never a decision made by one person alone.

It is a redistribution of resources for the entire family.

The position of the Six in the Fourth Place is crucial. It is the only line in the entire Increase Hexagram that mentions relocation, and it comes right after the Six in the Third Place’s "increase used for inauspicious affairs", and right before the Nine in the Fifth Place’s "sincerity and a generous heart".

This means: first go through a difficult event, then you will have the conditions to move, and after moving, you still need the trust of the whole family to hold things together.

These three steps connected form the complete process of a family relocation: first have a reason that makes change unavoidable, then make the move, then stabilize things with the unity of the people involved.

So to judge whether you should move, there are three questions to ask one by one.

First question: Is it truly impossible to stay where you are now?

Note: "impossible to stay", not "uncomfortable to stay".

Being uncomfortable means a slightly lower salary, a longer commute, noisy neighbors. These are costs of living, not threats to survival.

Being unable to stay means your industry has vanished from this city, your child’s path forward has hit a dead end, your family’s income structure can no longer hold up.

The Six in the Third Place of the Increase Hexagram says "increase used for inauspicious affairs"—that is exactly what this means: you should only move when something real is forcing you to.

Without that driving force, forcing a move is just tossing yourself around for nothing.

Second question: Who will move with you?

For many people, relocation is a solo decision, followed by a notification to the rest of the family.

In the terms of the Increase Hexagram, this means skipping the "announce to the lord" step.

"Announce to the lord and gain compliance" means making everything clear first, then getting agreement.

Clear about what? Clear about what each person’s daily life will look like after the move.

How will your wife’s job be arranged? How will your child’s school transition work? What about medical care and support for the elderly? How will rent or mortgage payments work out?

If these things aren’t sorted out clearly, moving will just bring a pile of last-minute problems.

I’ve seen far too many families like this: the husband moves first, saying he’ll bring the family over in six months. Then six months turns into two years, and two years turns into living separate lives.

It’s not that the relationship broke down—it’s that the "announce to the lord" step was skipped.

Third question: After moving, what will your new support system be?

The Nine in the Fifth Place of the Increase Hexagram says: "有孚惠心，勿問元吉" (You fu hui xin, wu wen yuan ji: With sincerity and a generous heart, do not even ask—supreme good fortune).

"With sincerity and a generous heart" means truly having good intentions toward one another.

This line is saying: whether you can settle in after moving depends on the mutual care and commitment within the family.

In a new city, there are no old classmates, no parents to lend a hand, no acquaintances to call on. Everything has to be done by yourselves.

At times like this, if the family is united in heart, you can get through it. If your hearts are not aligned, even the smallest thing can blow up into a crisis.

That is why the real cost of a family move is not the difference in housing prices, not moving fees—it’s the period of time when the family has to rebuild their support system from scratch.

That period usually lasts one to two years.

During those two years, income will take a hit, emotions will fluctuate, the child will struggle to adapt, and the elderly will want to go back.

You have to factor this cost into your calculations in advance.

Going back to that reader.

He didn’t move right away. Instead, he did something else: he went to the new city alone to work for six months, coming back every two weeks. He scouted out schools, hospitals, rental apartments, and commute routes in the new city, and put together a dozen-page document to show his wife.

The following spring, the whole family moved there.

He told me those six months were the most useful part.

I said, "Those six months were exactly ‘announce to the lord and gain compliance’."

You didn’t act first and report later. You walked the path once yourself first, then led your family along it.

This is how the Six in the Fourth Place of the Increase Hexagram applies to family and home matters.

When ancient people moved their capital, they first established the ancestral temple, first settled the people, first prepared grain stores.

Moving homes today follows the same principle: settle people’s hearts first, then move the place.

Finally, here’s a way to judge for yourself.

Do you want to move because there is something better waiting for you over there, or because there is something here you can’t stand?

The first is called "seeing what is good, moves toward it"—you can go ahead and move.

The second is called running away. If you run away, your problems will follow you.

Telling these two apart is far more important than calculating the price difference.