Cui Hexagram Top Six: People Come and Go Is Normal, Don’t Be Too Sad

1. The Meaning of the Line Text

The Top Six (上六) line of the Gathering Together (萃卦) Hexagram states: "赍咨涕洟，无咎。"

"赍咨" means sighing and heaving deep sighs. "涕洟" means shedding tears and sniffling. Put together, it describes someone wailing and weeping bitterly.

"无咎" means no blame — there is no major problem.

The Gathering Together Hexagram is about "gathering": bringing people together, pooling resources, and uniting strength. At the final line, which should be the peak of "gathering", why is there crying instead?

It is because the Top Six line marks the end of the gathering phase. When gathering reaches its extreme, dispersion is bound to follow.

It is like a banquet: no matter how lively it is, it will eventually end. A team, no matter how united, will one day disband. A relationship, no matter how close, may fade over time.

The Top Six line is that moment of "the party ending". You watch people leave, the excitement fade, and the relationship grow distant. You feel hurt, you want to cry, you want to hold on.

But the line text says "no blame" — it is okay, there is nothing wrong, and you do not need to blame yourself.

Gathering and dispersing are simply the natural order. When it is time to part, let it go.

2. Why Dispersion Follows Extreme Gathering

This is the wisdom of the *I Ching*: things reverse when they reach their extreme.

Anything that develops to its utmost will turn to its opposite. The moon begins to wane when it is fullest; water overflows when it is brimful; people start to disperse when they have gathered to the maximum.

The Gathering Together Hexagram speaks of gathering, but gathering does not last forever. Where there is gathering, there is dispersion; where there is union, there is separation. This is a law, not an accident.

Think about it:

- A group of friends who hang out every day, drinking and chatting nonstop, will eventually grow bored, annoyed, and conflicted over time.

- A team that stays fixed and unchanged for too long will gradually become rigid, consumed by internal friction, and lose its vitality.

- A relationship where two people are glued to each other every moment will eventually feel suffocating, tiresome, and make one want to escape.

Too much gathering becomes a burden. Dispersing when the time is right is actually a good thing.

That is why the "weeping" of the Top Six line is not a disaster — it is a natural farewell. It is like crying at graduation: after the tears, everyone goes their separate ways to live their own lives. Is that not a good thing?

3. Accepting Dispersion Is the Start of Maturity

Many people cannot accept "dispersion".

When a team disbands, they blame themselves: Did I do something wrong?

When a friend leaves, they feel sad: Did I say something wrong?

When a relationship fades, they feel anxious: Did I not try hard enough?

Then they desperately try to hold on, to maintain the status quo, to put back together what has already fallen apart.

But some things can never be gathered again. The harder you try, the more pain you feel.

True maturity is accepting dispersion.

Acceptance is not coldness — it is understanding that everyone has their own path to walk. Someone who is on your team today may join another company tomorrow. Someone who is your friend today may gradually drift apart tomorrow.

It is no one's fault. That is just how life is.

Cherish well when you are together, and say goodbye properly when you part. That is enough.

4. What Remains After Dispersion

People may leave, but what you have gained stays with you.

What Remains Is Affection

When a relationship ends, the things you went through together, the time you shared, and the moments that moved you both still live in your heart.

These do not disappear just because you no longer keep in touch. They become a part of your life.

Relationships may end, but memories do not. Those memories are the most precious thing left after the party ends.

What Remains Is Growth

Every person you have spent time with has taught you something.

Some taught you what sincerity is; some taught you hard lessons. Some made you gentler; some made you stronger.

All gatherings, dispersions, meetings, and partings help you become a better version of yourself.

What Remains Is a Broader Mindset

Having seen both gatherings and dispersions, your heart becomes bigger.

You no longer fall apart because one person leaves, nor do you deny your own worth because a relationship ends. You know that gathering and dispersing are normal, that what is meant to come will come, and what is meant to leave will leave.

Only those who have experienced gatherings and partings truly know how to cherish.

5. Three Tips for Those Who Cannot Let Go

1. Do Not Beg Them to Stay — Say Goodbye Properly

You cannot hold onto someone who is meant to leave. Even if you force them to stay, their heart will not be there.

Rather than crying and begging them to stay, say a proper goodbye. Say thank you, say take care, say we will meet again someday.

A dignified goodbye will be remembered far better than a desperate attempt to cling on.

2. Do Not Blame Yourself — It Is Not Your Fault

When a team disbands or a relationship breaks off, many people blame themselves: Did I not do well enough?

Not necessarily. Sometimes it is just that fate has run its course, the time has come, and your paths have diverged.

Do not blame yourself for every parting. Some separations have nothing to do with you.

3. Do Not Look Back — Keep Moving Forward

What is done is done. Do not keep looking back. If you look back too much, you will not be able to move forward.

Ahead of you, there are new people, new teams, and new relationships waiting for you.

You have to keep walking forward to meet new gatherings.

6. Final Thoughts

What the Top Six line of the Gathering Together Hexagram teaches is acceptance.

Gatherings and partings are normal in life. Do not be too sad.

Cherish well when you are together; say goodbye properly when you part. Do not cling on, do not blame yourself, do not look back.

"赍咨涕洟，无咎。" Feeling sad is only human, but do not wallow in it.

Life is just a series of gatherings and dispersions. When one gathering ends, another will come.

What you need to do is not hold onto every gathering, but become a better version of yourself through every meeting and parting.

The end of a gathering is not scary. What is scary is being afraid to let it end.

Say goodbye properly, then keep moving forward.