How to Relieve Stress? Hexagram Meng’s Fourth Six Line: You’re Not Unskilled, Just Trapped by Your Own Thoughts

How do you cope when you’re under huge pressure?

Don’t rush to search for "top 10 stress relief tips" just yet.

Ask yourself first — are you weighed down by the actual tasks, or by your own thoughts?

A lot of people would say, "Obviously it’s the work! There’s so much to do, deadlines are tight, I’ve got a mortgage and car loan to pay, kids to raise, and elderly parents to look after. How could I not feel stressed?"

Here’s what I say: the tasks are objectively there, but what usually breaks you isn’t the work itself.

It’s the ten thousand made-up scenarios running through your head about it.

It’s lying in bed tossing and turning, thinking "What if I mess this up?" "What if my boss yells at me?" "What if I lose my job?"

Before anything even happens, you’ve already replayed the worst possible outcome a hundred times in your head.

This isn’t stress. This is **Kunmeng (Trapped in Darkness)**.

It’s a state specifically described by the **Fourth Line of the Meng Hexagram**.

What Is the Fourth Line of the Meng Hexagram?

The Line Text for the fourth line of the Meng Hexagram is just two characters: **困蒙，吝。 (Kunmeng, lin — Trapped in darkness, humiliation.)**

Put in four words: trapped in ignorance, with regret.

It sounds simple, but these four words hit on a universal struggle of modern people.

The position of the fourth line (Six in the Fourth Place) is special. It is a Yin Line in a yin position, and the lines above and below it are also yin lines. It’s like a person surrounded on all sides by walls, with no way out.

"Trapped in darkness" is different from the "arousing of darkness" of the **Six at the Beginning**.

The first line is just starting out in darkness, still confused and unknowing. Point it in a direction, and it can find its way out.

Trapped darkness is different. It’s like this: the more you try to figure it out, the more confused you get; the more confused you get, the more anxious you feel; the more anxious you feel, the less you can think clearly.

It’s a vicious cycle.

Let me give you an example, and you’ll get it.

You have an important presentation tomorrow. Tonight, lying in bed, you start thinking:

What if I say something wrong?

What if my boss isn’t satisfied?

Will my coworkers think I’m not competent?

If I mess this up, will it hurt my promotion chances?

What if I get fired? What about the mortgage?

The more you think, the more wide awake you get — and the more awake you are, the more you overthink. Next thing you know, it’s 3 a.m.

The next day, you show up to the presentation with dark circles under your eyes, in terrible shape, and you really do mess it up. Then you think to yourself, "See? I knew I couldn’t do it."

That’s "trapped in darkness" right there.

You’re not trapped by the presentation itself. You’re trapped by the ten thousand worst-case scenarios you made up in your head.

The **Xiang Commentary (Images)** says something that hits really close to home: **"困蒙之吝，独远实也。 (The humiliation of being trapped in darkness comes from being alone and far removed from reality.)"**

What does that mean?

People trapped in ignorance feel regret because they have **strayed far from what is real, all on their own**.

Put plainly: you’re overthinking way too much, and you’re too far removed from reality.

90% of the things you’re afraid of will never happen. But you just can’t stop thinking about them — the more you think, the more scared you get; the more scared you get, the more you think.

In the end, before the problem even arrives, you’ve already worn yourself out.

Common Traits of People Trapped in Darkness

"Trapped in darkness" isn’t a personality type — it’s a state. Anyone can fall into it.

Check and see if any of these apply to you.

**First: obsessing over the same thing over and over.**

You said one thing wrong, and you ruminate on it for three days.

You made one bad decision, and you regret it for half a year.

Someone says something offhand, and you analyze it a hundred times over — what did they really mean? Do they have a problem with me?

On the surface, it looks like you’re "reflecting." But actually, you’re just stuck in internal friction.

Reflection leads to a conclusion. Internal friction doesn’t.

Someone who reflects will say, "Oh, I see where I went wrong here — I’ll fix it next time."

Someone stuck in internal friction will say, "How could I be so stupid? Why did I say that? I wish I’d said it differently… but now it’s too late."

And then they loop right back to the start.

This kind of endless overthinking is the most classic sign of "trapped in darkness." You’re caught up in a single thought, and the more you struggle, the tighter it wraps around you.

**Second: the harder you try, the more anxious you feel.**

A lot of people have this misconception — anxiety comes from not trying hard enough. So the more anxious they get, the more they push themselves to work harder.

What happens? The harder they try, the more anxious they get.

Why?

Because your effort isn’t actually solving the problem — it’s just trying to ease your anxiety.

You sign up for a ton of courses, thinking learning more will make the anxiety go away. But the more courses you take, the worse the anxiety gets. Because you realize the more you learn, the more there is you don’t know.

You work tons of overtime, thinking doing more will give you a sense of security. But the more overtime you work, the less secure you feel. Because you realize the work never ends — there’s always more to do.

That’s "trapped in darkness" — you’re stuck in the obsession of "I have to try harder." You think if you just work hard enough you’ll get out, but the harder you try, the deeper you sink.

**Third: trouble sleeping.**

Almost everyone trapped in darkness sleeps poorly.

Why?

Because the things that happened during the day keep playing out in your head at night.

Your boss made a comment to you during the day, and as soon as you lie down at night you start replaying it — I wish I’d said this instead. Does he think less of me now? Should I explain myself tomorrow…

You had a small conflict with a coworker during the day, and as soon as you lie down you start running through scenarios — will he make things hard for me tomorrow? Should I tell my boss first? What if he talks behind my back…

Your brain just won’t shut off.

The more you try to sleep, the more awake your brain feels; the more awake your brain is, the more anxious you get; the more anxious you get, the harder it is to fall asleep.

This is exactly what the Xiang Commentary means by "being far removed from reality" — you’re disconnected from what’s real. Most of the things keeping you up at night turn out to be nothing at all when you wake up the next day.

But the night before, you already tortured yourself half to death over them.

How to Break Free From "Trapped in Darkness"

Okay, so how do you actually get out of it?

The fourth line of the Meng Hexagram doesn’t spell out the method directly, but the logic of the hexagram as a whole already gives you the answer.

I’ll share three of the most practical methods — all tested and proven to work.

**First: get out first, then figure out the rest.**

When you’re stuck at the bottom of a well, digging deeper won’t get you out. You have to climb up first.

What does that mean?

It means when you notice you’re trapped in "darkness," stop fighting the problem head-on. Do something else first — pull yourself out of that state.

If the more you think about a problem the more stuck you get, stop thinking about it. Stand up, walk around, get a glass of water, look out the window, chat with someone for a minute.

If you’re tossing and turning in bed and can’t fall asleep, don’t just lie there. Get up, sit for a while, read a couple pages of a book, drink a glass of warm water. Wait until you actually feel sleepy, then lie back down.

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking: I have to figure this problem out before I can sleep. I have to fix this before I can relax.

What happens? You don’t figure out the problem, and you don’t get any sleep either.

Remember: when you’re trapped in darkness, you can’t think your way out. You have to get out first, then go back to it when your mind is clear.

Answers never come from overthinking. They pop up on their own as you keep moving forward.

**Second: separate "facts" from "made-up scenarios."**

The root of trapped darkness is that you’re treating your made-up scenarios as facts.

Your boss didn’t say hello to you today — that’s a fact. Your boss has a problem with you — that’s a made-up scenario.

Your coworker didn’t reply to your message in the group chat — that’s a fact. Your coworker doesn’t like you — that’s a made-up scenario.

This presentation might not have gone well — that’s a fact. I’m going to get fired — that’s a made-up scenario.

When you mix facts and made-up scenarios together, of course you feel anxious. Because the stuff you make up is ten thousand times scarier than reality.

How do you tell them apart? It’s simple.

Take out a piece of paper, or open the notes app on your phone.

Write "Facts" on the left side, and "Made-Up Scenarios" on the right.

List out all the things you’re worried about, one by one. Which ones are facts that have already happened? Which ones are just possibilities you’ve dreamed up?

Once you finish the list, you’ll realize — 90% of them are on the right side.

90% of the things you’re worried about will never happen.

And for the 10% that do actually happen, you’ll have plenty of time to deal with them then.

Wen Laoshi often says: the biggest source of internal friction for people is treating imagination as reality, and possibility as certainty.

Separate those two, and your stress will be cut by at least half.

**Third: take the "smallest possible action."**

Another trait of people trapped in darkness is — they think a lot, and do very little.

It’s not that they don’t want to do things. It’s that they feel like "there’s so much to do, I don’t know where to start," so they just keep thinking, and never start.

The less you do, the more anxious you get; the more anxious you get, the less you know where to start.

Another vicious cycle.

How do you break it? Take the smallest possible action.

What’s the smallest possible action? It’s the simplest, tiniest first step you can think of for whatever you need to do.

You have to write a report, and it feels so overwhelming you can’t even start. What’s the smallest action? Open the document and type the title.

That’s it. That simple.

You want to lose weight, and it feels impossible, like you’ll never stick with it. What’s the smallest action? Eat one less bite of food today.

Just one bite.

You want to learn a new skill, and it feels like it’ll take forever. What’s the smallest action? Watch five minutes of it today.

Just five minutes.

Don’t underestimate this smallest action.

Its value isn’t in how much you get done. It’s in this — you’re moving. As soon as you start moving, that vicious cycle of "trapped in darkness" gets broken.

Trapped darkness is a product of stillness. When you stop moving, your mind starts wandering aimlessly; when your mind wanders aimlessly, you feel even less like moving.

Action is the best weapon to break free from trapped darkness.

A Few Final Words

The fourth line of the Meng Hexagram sounds inauspicious at first — trapped in darkness, humiliation.

But it’s not saying you’re a bad person. It’s a reminder — it’s time to try a different approach.

You can’t just power your way through this. The harder you push, the deeper you’ll get stuck.

You have to admit first — I’m trapped right now. I can’t figure this out right now. I’m not in a good place right now.

Once you admit that, it gets easier.

Once you admit it, you’ll stop fighting with yourself. You’ll stop and think — am I going the wrong way? Should I take a different path? Should I rest for a bit first?

A lot of people are afraid to admit they’re struggling, like it means they’re giving up.

But that’s not true.

Admitting you’re stuck isn’t giving up — it’s being clear-headed. You have to know where you are to know where to go next.

Being trapped in darkness isn’t scary.

What’s scary is being stuck inside it, and keep telling yourself — I’m fine, I can handle this, if I just push a little harder it’ll be okay.

And then you sink deeper and deeper.

Times change, and methods get simpler and simpler. But one thing has never changed —

When you hit a dead end, stop first. Don’t just ram your head against it.

Pausing for a minute isn’t wasting time.

It’s how you find the right direction before you set off again.